Imibuzo Ebuzwa Njalo

NgokoMthetho Obhekelela Udlame Olwenzeka Ekhaya No. 116 we-1998:

• Luyinoma ikuphi ukuhlukumezeka okuhlanganisa akwangokomzimba, ngokwezocansi, ngokomphefumulo, ngokomqondi noma ngokwezezimali.
• Ukucekela phansi impahla.
• Ukucathamela umuntu.
• Ukungena endaweni yomuntu ngaphandle kwemvume yabo.
• Nanoma iyiphi enye indlela yokuziphatha ehlukumezayo noma elawulayo lapho le ndlela yokuziphatha ibangela ukulimala noma ingabangela ukulimala ngokwezempilo, ukuphepha, noma inhlalakahle.

Uma lezi zinhlobo zokuhlukumeza zenzeka kuwe noma kunoma ubani omaziyo, ungafaka isicelo somyalelo wenkantolo wokuvikela. Umyalelo wenkantolo wokuvikela ngokuphathelene nodlame olwenzeka ekhaya ukhishwa inkantolo futhi uvimbela umhlukumezi ukuthi:

• Enze isenzo sodlame olwenzeka ekhaya.
• Ukuthi acele usizo lomunye umuntu ukuze amenzele isenzo esifana naleso.
• Angene endaweni okuhlala kuyo ofake isikhalazo kanye nokumele aphendule ngalokhu.
• Ukungenza endaweni ethile yale ndawo abahlala kuyo.
• Ukungena endaweni yofake isikhalazo.
• Ukungena endaweni okusebenza kuyo ofake isikhalazo.
• Ukuvimbela ofake isikhalazo ohlala noma obehlala kuleyo ndawo ukuthi angene noma aqhubeke nokuhlala lapho noma engxenyeni ethile yendawo okuhlalwa kuyo ngokuhlanganyela noma.
• ukwenza ezinye izenzo eziqagulwe kumyalelo wenkantolo wokuvikela.

Ukuhlukumeza ngokomzimba kungahlanganisa:

• Ukushova, ukushaya ngempama, ukushaya ngesibhakela, ukukhahlela, ukuklinya, ukuluma
• Ukushaya ngezinto, izibhamu, imibese noma ezinye izikhathi eziyingozi

Ukuhlukumeza Ngokomphefumulo, Ngamazwi kanye Nangokomqondo kungahlanganisa:

• Ukuhlala uchashwa, kubukiswa ngawe noma ubizwa ngamagama ajivazayo
• Ukwesatshiswa ngodlame noma ngokufa okuphindelelayo kungabangela ubuhlungu emphefumulweni

Ukuhlukumeza Ngokwezezimali kungahlanganisa:

• Ukuthengisa yenu ngokuhlanganyela isib. imfuyo, umuzi wenu njengabashadikazi ngaphandle kwemvume yesisulu
• Ukungeka e-akhawuntini yasebhange okuhlanganyelwe kuyo ukuze uyisebenzisele wena ngaphandle yemvume yesisulu

Ukwesabisa kungaba:

• Ukuthumela okwesabisa ngokubulala isisulu okubhaliwe noma okushiwo ngomlomo
• Ukuthumela onodoli abangenamakhanda, amabhokisi omngwabo amancane noma izilwane ezingabangani basekhaya ezishonile

Ukuhlupha kungahlanganisa:

• Ukulokhu ubuka isisulu ngaphandle noma eduze kwekhaya laso, emsebenzini, esikoleni noma endaweni yokwenzela ibhizinisi noma nanoma ikuyiphi indawo avamise ukuba kuyo
• Ukuhlala ushayela ucingo isisulu noma wenze ukuthi omunye umuntu asishayele ucingo noma ngabe oshaya ucingo unyakhuluma noma akakhulumi nofake isikhalazo
  

Ukucathamela umuntu, isibonelo:

• Ukuhlala uya esisulwini ucela noma uphoqa ukukhuluma naso singafuni

Ukucekela Phansi Impahla kungahlanganisa izenzo:

• Zokwephula amafasitela ukuze ungene endlini yesisulu
• Ukusika, ukwephula noma ukulimaza nganoma iyiphi indlela impahla yasendlini esetshenziswa ngokuhlanganyela

Ukungena Ngokungemthetho Endlini Yesisulu kungahlanganisa:

• Ukusebenzisa ukhiya wesibili ukuze ukwazi ukungena nakho kungaba udlame olwenzeka ekhaya
  

Bobabili abesilisa kanye nabesifazane kungenzeka babe necala lalokhu, futhi babe yizisulu zodlame olwenzeka ekhaya.

1. umuntu oshade naye, noma ngabe kungokusemthethweni noma ngokwesiko;
2. umlingani wakho (owobulili obufanayo noma obehlukile kobakho) ohlala noma obuhlala ndawonye naye, nonoma beningashadile noma beningakwazi ukuthi nishadiswe (uma, isibonelo, oyedwa kunina esevele eshade nomunye umuntu);
3. omunye umzali wengane yakho noma umuntu owabelana naye ngezibophezelo zokuba umzali wengane;
4. abantu abahlobene nawo ngokwegazi, umshado noma ngokukhuliswa abantu abangakuzali;
5. umuntu ebenithembisene ukushada naye, ubudlelwane bezomshado noma bezothando, obuhlanganisa ukuthandana okukhona noma okuthathwa ngokukhona, ubudlelwane bokuhlangana noma bezocansi noma ngabe obesikhathi esingakanani;
6. umuntu obuhlala naye noma osanda kuhlala maduze nje endlini eyodwa.

Umbuzo ongcono owokuthi, “Kungani umhlukumezi ekhatha ukuhlukumeza?” Izisulu zivamise ukukuthola kunzima ukushiya ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomoya, ngokwezezimali, ngokomthetho noma ngokwengcindezi yezenhlalo. Abahlukumezi basebenz akanzima ukugcina izisulu zisobudlelwaneni ngokujwayelekile bazihlukanisa nabanye bese beyazithonya.

• Kukhona ukwesaba ngempela ukushona noma okunye ukuhlukunyezwa uma behamba.
  • Empeleni, ingozi yokuba semathubeni okubulawa ikhuphuka kakhulu uma belungiselela ukuhamba noma besanda kuhamba.
  • Ngokwesilinganiso, abantu besifazane abathathu babulawa umlingani abaya naye noma ababeya naye ocansini nsuku zonke.
  • Thina, njengomphakathi, kumele senze okuningi ukuze siqinisekise ukuthi izisulu ziyaphepha uma zihamba.
• Umhlukumezi angamnqabela ukuthi abone abanye abantu noma amhlasele uma ezama ukuthola usizo.
• Abashaya abanye bahle kakhulu ekwenzeni ukuthi izisulu zicabange ukuthi yizona ezibangele ukuhlukunyezwa kwazo. Isizulu zivamise ukukholelwa ekutheni uma kuyizona ezibangele udlame, zingakwazi futhi ukuluyekisa.
• Izisulu ziyahlala ngoba zenziwa ukuthi zicabange ukuthi ngeke zikwazi ukuphila zodwa, ngokwezezimali noma ngenye indlela. Isikhathi esiningi abahlukumezi benza isimo sezezimali esenza ukuthi kungenzeki ukuthi usheshe uhambe.
• Osindile angaphinde abuyele kumhlukumezi ngoba uyena muntu osindile azizwa emthanda, futhi bakhokhelwa ekutheni umlingani wabo angashintsha.

2019 POWA (People Opposing Women Abuse), https://www.powa.co.za/POWA/

Ngabe zikhona izimpawu ezikhombisa okuthile ezikhonjiswa abahlukumezi?

• Ayikho indlela yokuthi ungabona umhlukumezi esixukwini, kodwa abahlukumezi abaningi banendlela yokuziphatha efanayo.
• Ezinye izimpawu ezingatheni zokuxwayisa zihlanganisa:
  • Baphoqa ukuthi kusheshe kube nobudlelwano.
  • Kungenzeka babe ngabantu abanamancoko futhi babukeke benokuthile okuhle okungavamile.
  • Baphoqa ukuthi uyeke ukwenza izinto zokungcebeleka noma ukuchitha isikhathi nomndeni kanye nabangani.
  • Banomona futhi balawula ngokwedlulele.
  • Abazithwesi icala ngezenzo zabo bese bethwesa abanye abantu icala ngayo yonke engahambi kahle.
  • Bagxeka abalingani babo ngendlela ababukeka ngayo futhi bahlale bebanyelisa.
  • Lokhu abakushoyo nabakwenzayo akuhambisani.
• Nanoma iyiphi indlela yokuziphatha kulezi kungenzeka ingakhombi ukuhlukumeza, kodwa kubalulekile ukwazi izinkomba zokungahambi kahle bese uzinika izikhathi sokucubungula lokhu.
• Ngabe kungenzeka yini ukuthi umhlukumezi ashintshe?
• Yebo, kumele azikhethele ukuthi ufuna ukushintsha.
• Akulula ukuthi umhlukumezi ashintshe indlela yokuziphatha yokuhlukumeza, futhi kumele kube yisinqumo esikhulu ukuthi ashintshe. Uma umhlukumezi esenawo wonke amandla ebudlelwaneni, kunzima ukuthi ashintshele ebudlelwaneni obuphilile obunokulingana ngamandla futhi bokuthobelana.
• Ngesinye isikhathi umhlukumezi uyayeka ukuhlukumeza ngokomzimba kodwa aqhubeke nokusebenzisa ezinye izinhlobo zokuhlukumeza - ngokomphefumulo noma ngokwezezimali. Abanye abahlukumezi bayakwazi ukulaula isisulu ngokuphelele ngaphandle ngokusebenzisa udlame noma ukwesabisa ngodlame. Zonke izinhlobo zokuhlukumeza zibuhlungu ezisulwini.

Uma uzizwa uyisisulu sodlame olwenzeka ekhaya lwanganoma iluphi uhlobo olushiwo ngenhla, iya eNkantolo kaMantshi yendawo bese ucela ukusizwa ngokuphathelene nokuletha isicelo Somyalelo Wenkatolo Wokuvikela. Unobhala weNkantolo uzokusiza ukugcwalisa amafomu afanele bese ekusa kuMantshi ozobheka ukuthi angakunika noma angekunike yini Umyalelo Wenkantolo. Imininingwane yabahlinzeka ngezinsiza abangakucebisa noma abangakusiza ngokuphathelene nalokhu ihlinzekiwe.

Khumbula ukuthi ezimweni eziphuthuma, le nsiza ithola amahora angama-24 ngosuku.

Unobhala weNkantolo uzokusiza ukuthi ugcwalise amafomu adingekayo bese ekuyisa kuMantshi.

Iya Enkantolo eseduze nalapho uhlala noma usebenza khona. Uma uphoqwe ukuthi ushiye indawo obuhlala kuyo nokungumphumela wodlame futhi uhlale endaweni ethile okwesikhashana, ungaya Enkantolo eseduze nendawo ohlala kuyo okwesikhashana.

Ukushiya ubudlelwane obuhlukumezayo kungabonakala kunzima futhi kuyingozi. Kungenzeka ube nokungabaza noma ukwesaba noma uzizwe kunzima uma ucabanga ukuhamba kodwa cabanga lokhu okulandelayo ngesikhathi uthatha isinqumo sakho:

• Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomphefumulo kuvamise ukuholela kudlame olwenzeka ekhaya. Kubalulekile ukuthi ucele usizo ngokushesha ngendlela ongakwazi ukuthi wenze ngayo.
• Ukuhlunyezwa ekhaya akukaze kwaba iphutha lakho. Umlingani wakho unesibophezelo sendlela aziphatha ngayo. Udlame kanye nokuhlukunyezwa akukaze kwaba yiphutha lesisulu.
• Ukuhlukunyezwa akuyona into ejwayelekile noma akulungile. Ungacabanga ukuthi ukuhlukumeza kuyisibonakaliso sokuthi umlingani wakho uyakuthanda. Akusona. Kungenzeka ukuthi umlingani wakho uyakuthanda, kodwa ukuhlukumea akusona isibonakaliso salolo thando. Ubudlelwane obuphilile yilobo ozizwa uphephile futhi okungekho kubo ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba, ngokocansi, ngokomphefumulo, noma ngamazwi.
• Ukuhlukunyezwa kungehlela noma ubani akukhathalisekile ukuthi ngabe banemfundo yasekolishi, ukuti uhlala kuyiphi indawo, iminyaka yakho yobudaa, ubulili bakho, ukuthi uthandana nabantu babuphi ubulili, noma ngabe ushadile, uthandana nothile, noma awushadile
• Kungenzeka umlingani wakho akwenzele okuhle ngesinye isikhathi. Abahlukumezi abaningi baba nokuhlukumeza okulandelwa ukulungisa lokho okuphindaphindayo. Uma sekwenzeke kanye, kungenzeka kuphinde futhi ukuhlukumeza.
• Angeke ukwazi ukusiza noma ukulungisa umlingani ohlukumezayo. Akusona isibophezelo sakho ukunxenxa umlingani onodlame noma ohlukumeayo ukuthi athol usizo.
• Udlame olwenzeka ekhaya luxhunyaniswa nezinkinga ezinkulu zangokomzimba kanye nezangokomphefumulo. Uma siba side isikhathi kwenzeka lokhu, mukhulu umonakalo ongenzeka.
• Uma unezingane, cabanga ngokuphepha kwazo nokuthi ngabe uyafuna yini umlingani wakho azivakashele uma unquma ukushiya ebudlelwaneni.
• Uma ungaqinisekanga ngokuthi ngabe usengozini, thatha okokuhlola ingozi kwethu bese ubona ukuthi ungalwenza kanjani uhlelo lokuphepha.

2019 Women’s Health; www.womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/domestic-violence/leaving-abusive-relationship

Baningi abantu abakusiza ukuthi ucabange ngalokho okuvuleleke kuwena ngokuphathelene nokushiya ubudlelwane obuhlukumezayo ngokuphepha. Kungenzeka kungaphephi ukuthi umlingani wakho azi ukuthi ucabanga ukuhamba. Zama ukukhuluma nabantu abangeke batshele umhlukumezi mayelana nezinhlelo zakho:

• Udokotela noma unesi wakho. Abantu abaningi bavakashele udokotela okungenani kanye ngonyaka ukuze bayoxilongwa, ngakho-ke zama ukuvakashela udokotela noma unesi ngaphandle komlingani wakho. Uma umlingani wakho ephoqa ukuhamba nawe, zama ukubhalela ipheshana osebenza ehhovisi uchaze ukuthiufisa ukubona udokotela noma unesi wedwa. Noma, utshele umlingani wakho ukuthi udinga ukukhuluma ngokuphathelene nezempilo yabesifazane uwedwa onamahloni ngokukhuluma ngazo. Noma, tshela umlingani wakho, lapho abanye bengakuzwa khona ukuthi, udokotela unenqubomgomo yokuba nesiguli kuphela egunjini lokuxilonga.
• Uthisha, umeluleki, noma uthishanhloko esikoleni sengane yakho. Umuntu omdala esikoleni sengane yakho angakusiza ukuthi uxhumane nezindawo zokukhosela kanye nezinye izindawo eziphephile emphakathini wakho. Othisha kanye nabanye esikoleni sengane yakho bafuna ukusiza imindenei yezingane abazifundisayo.
• U-Human resources. Uma usebenzela ngaphandle kwasekhaya, umnyango we-human resources (HR) emsebenzini wakho ungakwazi ukukuxhumanisa Nohlelo Lokusiza Abasebenzi (Employee Assistance Program (EAP)) noma eminye imithombo emphakathini wakho.
• Umndeni kanye nabangani. Umndeni kanye nabangani abebekwazi ngaphambi kokuthi uhlangane nomlingani okuhlukumezayo bangakwazi ukukusiza. Uma kukhona ilungu lomndeni noma umngani ongaphezu koyedwa ongakwazi ukukusiza, kungakuhle ukuthi abantu abambalwa basebenzisane ukuze bakusize.
• Izinhlangano Ezingekho Ngaphansi Kukakhhulumeni Ezibhekelela Udlame Olwenzeka Ekhaya. Ungaluma nokukhuluma ngalokhu oqeqeshiwe kunoma iyiphi Inhlangano Engekho Ngaphansi Kukahulumeni esiyibale lapha. Bangakusiza ngokuthi bakhulume nawe mayelana nezinyathelo zokushiya ubudelwano obuhlukumezayo.

2019 Women’s Health; www.womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/domestic-violence/leaving-abusive-relationship

Noma ngabe awuhambi ngaleso sikhathi, ukwenza uhlelo lokuphepha kungakusiza ukuthi wazi ukuthi wenzenjani uma umlingani wakho ekuhlukumeza futhi. Kungakusiza ukuthi ube sewukwazi ukuhamba ngesikhathi usuhamba.

Uhlelo lokuphepha luzokusiza ukuthi uhlale uzilungiselele:

• Hlonza umngani noma abangani abaphephile kanye nendawo ephephile ongaya kuyo. Yenza ikhowudi yamagama ozoyisebenzisa nabangani, umndeni, noma omakhelwane bakho ukuze ubazise ukuthi usengozini ngaphandle kokuthi kwazi umhlukumezi. Uma kungenzeka, vumelanani ngendawo engaziwa abangakuthatha kuyo.
• Gcina omunye umakhalekhukhwini eduze. Zama ukuthi ungashayeli ucingo ukucela usizo ocingweni lwakho lwasekhaya noma kumamakhalekhukhwini enabelana ngawo. Umlingani wakho kungenzeka akwazi ukulandela lezo zingcingo. Uma ungenawo umakhalekhukhwini, ungathola umakhalekhukhwini we-prepaid.
• Yazi ngekhanda izinombolo zabangani, umndeni, noma izindawo zokukhosela. Uma umlingani wakho ethatha ucingo lwakho, uzobe usakwazi ukuthinta abantu obathandayo noma izindawo zokukhosela ukuze ube nendawo yokuhlala ephephile.
• Yenza uhlu lwezinto ozozithatha uma kumele usheshe uhambe. Amadokhumenti angomazisi abalulekile kanye nemali kungaba okuseqhulwini. Hlanganisa ndawonye lezi zinto, bese uzigcina endaweni ephephile lapho zingeke zitholwe khona umlingani wakho. Uma usengozini ngaleso sikahthi, hamba ngaphandle kwazo.
• Uma ungakwazi, fihla enye isethi yezikhiya zemoto ukuze ukwazi ukuhamba uma umlingani wakho ethatha izikhiya akho ezijwayelekile.
• Buza udokotela wakho ukuthi ungawuthola kuphi umuthi owengeziwe noma nezinye izinto ezibalulekile ngokuphathelene nezempilo zakho noma zezingane zakho.
• Thinta inkantolo ebhekelela umndeni yangakini noma inkantolo ebhekelela udlame olwenzeka ekhaya mayelana nomyalelo wenkantolo ovimbela ukuthi afinyelela kuwe. Uma udinga usizo lwezomthetho kodwa ungakwazi ukulukhokhela, isikhungo sangakini esibhekelela udlame olwenzeka ekhaya kungenzeka sikusize ukuthi uthole ummeli ozosebenza mahhala.
• Vikela ukuvikeleka kwakho ku-inthanethi ngesikhathi uqoqa ulwazi futhi ulungiselela lokhu. Sebenzisa ikhompyutha ekumtapo wolwazi womphakathi ukuze uthwebule ngensiza ye-inthanethi ulwazi, noma usebenzise ikhompyutha noma iselula yomngani. Kungenjalo umlingani wakho angakwazi ukulandela lokho okuhlelelayo.
• Zama ukuhamba nanoma yibuphi ubufakazi bokuhlukunyezwa noma udlame uma ushiya umlingani wakho. Lokhu kungahlanganisa okukwesabisayo okubhalelwe umlingani wakho. Kungaba amakhophi emibiko yamaphoyisa kanye neyezempilo. Kungahlanganisa izithombe zokulimala kwakho noma ukucekelwa phansi kwempahla.
• Gcina amakhophi awo wonke amaphepha kanye namadokhumenti asekhompyutheni ku-external drive ephathekayo.

2019 Women’s Health; www.womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/domestic-violence/leaving-abusive-relationship

Uma ushiya umhlukumezi, into ebaluleke kakhulu impilo kanye nokuphepha kwakho kanye nokwezingane zakho. Uma ukwazi ukuhlelela lokhu kusenesikhathi, kungakusiza ukuthi ube nolwazi olubalulekile kuwe, ukwengeza emalini, ezingubeni, emithini, kanye nezinye izinto eziyisisekelo.

• Izitifiketi zokuzalwa, amakhadi e-Social Security, kanye namaphasipoti noma amaphepha okuthuthela kwelinye izwe akho kanye nezingane zakho.
• Amakhadi omshwalense wezempilo kwakho kanye nezingane zakho.
• Amarekhodi ezezimali, ahlanganisa izitatimende zasebhange zakamuva, amarekhodi ezikhwama zezimali enihlanganyele kuzo, izitatimende zezikhwama zokuthatha umhlalaphansi noma amaphepha emoto yakho.
• Amadokhumenti aphathelene nendawo yokuhlala, afana nezivumelwano zezokuqasha, izitatimende zezimalimboleko zendlu, okufakazela ubunikazi noma amatayitela.
• Ikhophi ebhaliwe yezinombolo zocingo noma amakheli abalulekile uma kwenzeka ungakwazi ukufinyelela kumakhalekhukhwini noma incwadi obhale kuyo imininingwane.

Kungenzeka futhi ufune ukuthatha izithombe zanoma iyiphi impahla ebalulekile ekhaya, lokho okungamagugu okudluliselwa ezizukulwaneni emndenini okufana nobucwebe, hamba nakho noma ukubeke endaweni ephephile ngaphambi kokuthi uhambe. Uma nine-akhawunti yasebhange eniyivule ngokuhlanganyela, cabanga ngokuvula i-akhawunti yakho bese ubeka imali kuyo. Noma ngabe imuphi umuntu omdala unelungelo lokuvula i-akhawunti yakhe yasebhange, noma ngabe ushadile noma uthembele komunye umuntu.

• Wonke umuntu angakhuluma akhombise ukungahambisani nodlame olwenzeka ekhaya. Inkinga izoqhubeka kuze kube umphakathi uyasukuma ukhulume ngezwi elilodwa elinamandla uthi, “akuphele lokhu!” Sebenzisa izithangami zezinkundla zokuxhumana ngalokhu #EndTheSilence.
• Singafundisa izingane zethu ukuti ubudlelwane obuphilile bubukeka kanjani ngokuba yisibonelo kanye nangokukhuluma ngakho.
• Ungacela abasebenzela umphakathi ukuthi beseke izinsiza zokusindisa izimpilo ngokuphathelene nodlame olwenzeka ekhaya nokuthi kuthwese icala abenza lokhu.
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• Ngokuvele uthathe isikhathi ukuze uzifundise ngodlame olwenzeka ekhaya kanye nangokudala indawo ephephile kanye nendawo engenakho ukwehlulela abanye.

Funda kabanzi mayelana nokuqeda ukungakhulunywa ngalokhu.